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Discussion: Elderly Care

Posted Discussion
Jan. 13, 2010
Jano23
Men's 50
95 posts
Elderly Care
I hope some of you 'old' guys can help me. An acquaintance of mine seemingly has an increasing need for 24 hr/day care. The family is horrified at the costs of nursing homes ($6000/mo.). Also, the cost of having someone come to the family's home to help is a few grand a month. This person's spouse is going crazy under the pressure, and being old themself, doesn't have the energy to do all the needed work themself.

We don't know much about all of this, including getting govt. (or other) assistance. Can any of you guys help steer us to some useful information or give some useful advice?

By the way, this person probably played softball at some point in their life (if you were wondering what the connection was).
Jan. 13, 2010
stattad
Men's 65
168 posts
Hey Jano--
I would recommend an assisted care living facility. My Mom stays in one and I know a lot about them. They start at about $2000 a month and you can add whatever extra help you need for a fee (obviously).

So you can pay for someone to come in and give them their pills, get them dressed, etc.
Jan. 14, 2010
Jano23
Men's 50
95 posts
Thanks for the info, Tad!
I'll talk to you about this 'offline'.
Jano
Jan. 14, 2010
E4/E6
Men's 60
850 posts
Jano
My Gf's Dad will soon need to live in an assisted living HOME, in the places we have looked at there have been no more then 5 people in most of the HOMES.
These HOMES are in every neighborhood and some even specialize in certain illnesses.
They provide more personalized care and arent much more then the larger facilities.
They are a very good alternative. And provide more personalized care then anything we have found.
Jan. 14, 2010
Jano23
Men's 50
95 posts
Thanks, E! I'll look into that.
Jano
Jan. 14, 2010
TexasTransplant
Men's 70
420 posts
Assisted living usually implies that the person can perform most routine functions (bath, toilet, dressing) on their own,but might need someone to check on them, make sure they take their meds, etc. My mother-in-law has been in two different facilities. Each required and interview to be sure she could perform these minimum requirements.

The next step in the facility she is currently in is full nursing care, when she can no longer perform those routine functions alone. If your friend needs 24/7 care, I suspect this is where he/she needs to be.

The facility also offers complete Alzheimer's care when required. It's like the full nursing care, but with added security to make sure they don't wander offl.

Rates are probably higher in California than in Texas, but her monthly charge for Assisted Living was $2600 in the first place and about $4000 in the second. The difference being primarily in the size of her apartment.

I'm not familiar with costs for full nursing and Alzheimer's care.
Jan. 14, 2010
Jano23
Men's 50
95 posts
Thanks a lot, TT. That's helpful.
Jano
Jan. 15, 2010
Webbie25
Men's 60
1983 posts
Jano23, my wife and I extend our prayers to you on this. We went through it with my mother. She was here at the house, but was bored being the social butterfly she was, so we found a great assisted living home in Rio Ranch called Acantilado Vista. She was able to take good care for the first year or so, but steadily declined. They were very supportive and watched her carefully, helping us provide what she needed and it was a little over $2000. per month. When she reached a certain point (we believe she had another stroke), we had to move her to a private home set up with 24/7 care for her. There were 7 or 8 people in the same condition, needing constant care. It was about 3600. per month. There are also places that provide 24/7 care at your residence, but it would have been around $6000/mo. Hospice also provided services that were very important to her in her final days. Hope this helps.
Jan. 15, 2010
Jano23
Men's 50
95 posts
Yes, it does help. Thanks again to all of you who responded!
Jan. 15, 2010
Omar Khayyam
999 posts
Be glad you are not in California. Because of the high cost of land, it affects assisted living homes and nursing homes. My mom started out in an independent living facility (1 meal a day & small kitchen). Cost? $3500/month. Then she moved to the assisted living section and cost was $4500 a month. Then added on full meals and some personal care and cost was $5000 a month. Now she is in a full assisted living facility at a higher level (because they feared she would wander) and cost is $7500 a month!

Small homes are an option, usually staffed by Christians who see taking care of the elderly as a ministry. They usually cannot do nursing home type of care (no nurse on staff), but they also run about $4000 to $4500. What you miss for the aged with lively minds are all the van trips, films, discussions, musical guests, etc. that larger facilities can provide.

California seniors who have owned their own homes can sell the house to provide a lot of cash for this, but if they live long enough, it runs out. This kind of care is not covered under Medicare, although the costs of an assisted living facility, if recommended by their physician, can be completely deducted as medical expense. Consequently, my mother pays no income tax on her social security, small pension, interest on savings account, etc.
Jan. 15, 2010
Jano23
Men's 50
95 posts
Thanks for that careful explanation, Omar!
BTW, I think I AM in California, but luckily the person I am concerned about isn't. :-)
Jan. 16, 2010
Omar Khayyam
999 posts
We used to say if you're not in California, then you are at least "California dreamin'". That was before the current financial fiasco originating primarily with our wonderful self-interested legislators (and to some degree, ignorant petition-signing voters). Glad to have you in the once-golden state. Good news that your loved one lives in a more affordable area.
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