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Discussion: SSUSA's Announces Major Changes

Posted Discussion
April 1, 2010
155 posts
SSUSA's Announces Major Changes
SS USA Announces Major Changes

SS USA has asked me to communicate this important announcement.

In response to many comments from players and managers SS USA has decided to combine all age and all skill into a single division. Thus, there will be only one National winner starting in 2011. SS USA is developing an equalizer system to ensure a competitive environment for all teams. Although not yet cast in stone, the following are some ideas that SS USA is considering.

Bats: SS USA has consistently supported the use of the most powerful bats, so SS USA will not outlaw any bat. However, to make teams equal, SS USA will enforce a choke up policy. Older players (75 and up) will be allowed to hold the bat all the way down to the handle knob. Younger players (45 and below) must choke up on the bat, up to 18.6” from the knob.

Number of Defensive Players: It might put a bit of pressure on some managers’ recruiting skills, but SS USA expects to allow older or weaker teams to have up to 21 defensive players and the strongest teams will have only four on defense (like the King and His Court). Twenty-one players seem like a lot, but SS USA will require limits, such as allowing only 11 in the outfield.

Courtesy Runners: The weaker or older teams will be allowed unlimited courtesy runners and in some situations vs. substantially stronger teams, the courtesy runner will start at first base while the batter is up.

Safety Bases: Because of the possible danger of a 40-year old crashing into a much older player, SS USA will draw a 6 foot circle around every base and the younger player will be deemed “out” when the older player touches the circle or any place within the circle.

Run Equalizers: SS USA has heard the complaints about the 5 or 7 runs given to weaker teams and will reduce the run equalizer to only one run per game per age difference. SS USA understands that the run differential might appear excessive in some cases (a 75 year old team will receive 25 runs when playing a 50s team), research has shown that 50s win by an average of 28 runs vs. 75s, so the advantage is still with the younger players.

Pitchers: SS USA is not sure how this will work, but will experiment with multiple, simultaneous pitchers. Older and weaker teams will be permitted to use up to 3 pitchers at one time. They will all go through the pitching motion, but only two of them will pitch a ball – one ball is real and the other is a fake ball. The younger, stronger batter must decide which of the balls is real and which is fake. A strike will be called if the batter swings at the fake ball. SS USA is working with the National UIC to work out the umpire’s instructions.

Home Runs: You should all feel happy that there will be no limits on the number of home runs. However, SS USA will be fiddling with the distance of the fences. One suggestion is to start with the fences at 100 feet and move them out 10 feet after every home run. This way the fences will always end up further away than the best batter, regardless of the age or skill level of every team. SS USA believes this is fair and is talking to Halliburton about a fence-moving design that will work.

Rating Appeals: Since there will be only one division, the only appeal will be for age. Any player who thinks he is immature can submit affidavits from three psychologists which will be reviewed by the National AAA (Age Appeal Agency).

Roster Regions: All teams can recruit players from anywhere; however the stronger teams must have at least one lineup-player from a foreign country. So, for example, a 60s team must have one player from Europe, a 50s team must have a player from the Middle East, and a 40s team must have a player from Iceland, preferably Reykjavik.

Your comments and suggestions are requested, but must be submitted only on April 1st.

April 1, 2010
Men's 65
438 posts
Nice and appropriate considering the circumstance. Love it...
April 1, 2010
Men's 55
394 posts
Just what I would expect from Mike "The
Trickster" Sisivic on April 1st!!!

Trick me once, shame on you, trick me
twice, never!

April 1, 2010
Men's 75
3 posts
Can us older players use corked, rolled or the original grey Ultra?
Great job, Mike!
April 1, 2010
The shoe guy from Tanel 360
2 posts
I actually think it sounds like it would be a lot of fun - Exhibition game - sign me up.

Nice piece of writing Mike (was probably a ghost writer!)
April 1, 2010
Men's 50
3114 posts
I love the three pitcher idea --
it's got a lot of potential.
April 1, 2010
Omar Khayyam
1243 posts
A couple of oversights that I am sure SSUSA will want to include.

Some demand a lively bat/ball combo or the game isn’t fun...and “the majority” will boycott all games with a mush ball. So any balls can be chosen and provided by the home team each game for both teams to play with. The balls can be stored in a refrigerator to further increase liveliness. The only proviso is that all players will choke up in 2.5” segments per age group down from the 45 and below standard (in other words, 50s only have to choke up at 13.6”; 55s at 11.1”; and so on).

No mention was made of the base lengths. Appropriate to age, SSUSA scientists will likely determine that 75s will run 50’ bases, 70s at 55, 65s at 60, 60s at 70, 55s at 75, 50s at 80, and under 50 at 90 feet. This will help make better use of the remaining 8 infielders plus pitcher and catcher. It will also be a nostalgic joy for younger players not that far removed from 90’ base running.
April 2, 2010
Men's 65
3146 posts
Plenty of good ideas here ^
April 2, 2010
56 posts
way to much time on your hands
April 2, 2010
Men's 65
4549 posts
About as good as the "job opening" with its requirements last year, some of us got...
June 11, 2010
Men's 65
2237 posts
Never got to this thread before. Haven't stopped laughing yet.
June 11, 2010
Men's 65
4549 posts
Another good joke taken in stride made from a series of questionable rules, equipment other happenings which have come about over the last couple of years and yet to come.
Perhaps it would be good to to post the possible "job opening". It was just as good as this one.
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