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Online now: 2 members: Rookies 40, Smiles123; 12 anonymousDiscussion: You Might Be a Softball Redneck If:
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| April 17 TaterinGa Men's 50 179 posts | 1. YOUR BAT COSTS MORE THAN THE CAR YOU DRIVE 2. YOU HAVE YOUR WEDDING AT HOME PLATE 3. A COP ASKS TO SEE YOUR I.D. AND YOU SHOW HIM YOUR "ALL TOURNEY MVP" TROPHY 4. YOU LOSE TWO GAMES AND GET ELIMINATED BY NOON, BUT CALL THE OLD LADY AND SAY ìIF WE WIN THIS ONE WE PLAY AT 8:00 A.M. TOMORROWî 5. ONE OF THE OTHER BATS IN YOUR BAG IS OLDER THAN YOUR SHORTSTOP 6. YOU WILL DRIVE 7 HOURS IN YOUR TRUCK FOR A 3-GAME GUARANTEE, BUT CAN'T DRIVE 45 MINUTES TO THE IN-LAWS DUE TO MECHANICAL OR FLU PROBLEMS & WORRIES ABOUT NEXT TOURNEY 7. YOU'VE EVER PUT MORE THAN 6 PLAYERS IN A SINGLE MOTEL ROOM TO SAVE EXPENSES, AND ENDED UP WITH DISABLED FURNITURE 8. YOU HAVE EVER PULLED A JEAN-SHORTS WEARING FAN OUT OF THE STANDS W/NO TEETH TO FILL OUT YOUR TEAM AND HAVE HIM END UP BEING THE BEST PLAYER ON YOUR TEAM 9. YOU QUIT A DECENT JOB OR CALL IN SICK TO AVOID MISSING A GOOD TOURNAMENT 10. YOUR DAUGHTER IS GETTING MARRIED IN 2005 & YOU INQUIRE OF THE DATE; SHE SAYS, ìSO YOU CAN SEE IF YOU ARE MISSING A TOURNEY?î !!!!!TATERMAN WAS GUILTY OF THIS ONE!!!!! 11. YOUR TEAM CANNOT PLAY IN A BIG TOURNAMENT, SO YOU GO OUT TO THE BALLPARK ANYWAY, AND WALK AROUND WITH YOUR BAG, LOOKING FOR A SHORT-HANDED TEAM 12. THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN REMEMBER THE YEAR YOUR NIECE WAS BORN IS TO REMEMBER THAT IT CAUSED YOU TO MISS THE REGIONALS. 13. YOU GET MORE UPSET ABOUT YOUR ROOMMATE USING YOUR MIKEN WITHOUT PERMISSION THAN YOU DID WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HE WAS USING YOUR TOOTHBRUSH & DEODORANT. 14. YOU BAIL TEAMMATES OUT OF JAIL, BUT ONLY TO AVOID BEING PLAYING SHORT-HANDED 15. YOU DRIVE 30 HOURS TO KEY WEST FOR A FAMILY VACATION, AND END UP GOING TO THE NEAREST PARK W/YOUR BALL BAG TO SEE IF YOU CAN SHOW OFF. 16. YOU GET IN THE LOSERS BRACKET, PLAY THE LAST GAME SATURDAY NIGHT, STAY AT THE PARK HALF DRUNK; IT GETS REAL LATE, SO YOU GO TO THE MASTERíS BRACKET, SEE WHAT FIELD YOU PLAY ON THE NEXT DAY, AND GO SLEEP IN THAT DUGOUT 17. YOU TREAT YOUR BAT LIKE THE JEWELED SCEPTER OF CZAR NICHOLAS, BUT YOUR GLOVE IS 17 YEARS OLD AND HELD TOGETHER BY SHOESTRINGS, SPEAKER WIRE, AND CABLE-TIES 18. AS YOU AND TWO TEAMMATES FINISH OFF THE THIRD CASE OF BEER OF THE DAY, YOU SUGGEST THAT A PLAYER ON AN OPPOSING TEAM WOULD BE ìPRETTY GOOD, IF HE DIDNíT DRINK SO MUCHî 19. YOU THINK A PLAYER WHO ìCHASES BAD PITCHESî HAS A MORE SEVERE CHARACTER FLAW THAN A DRUG ADDICT OR AN EMBEZZLER 20. YOU KNOW "DEMARINI" IS NOT THE PLACE YOU LAUNCH YOUR BASS BOAT ON THE WEEKEND 21. YOU THINK THE FOUR BASIC NEEDS OF LIFE ARE SEEDS, GATORADE/BEER, HOT DOGS, AND ICY HOT 22. YOUR CLEATS HAVE MORE JB WELD ON THEM THAN THEY DO RUBBER 23. YOU ASKED YOUR WIFE TO MARRY YOU ON YOUR SECOND DATE, BUT NEED FOUR TEAM MEETINGS TO DECIDE WHICH INFIELDERS YOU ARE GOING TO INVITE TO NEXT YEAR'S TRYOUTS 24. YOU HAVE PLAYED IN THE CHURCH LEAGUE FOR 6 YEARS, BUT ARE NOT REAL SURE WHICH TOWN THE CHURCH IS LOCATED IN 25. YOU LEFT YOUR WIFE, AND YOUR 29-MINUTE-OLD FIRSTBORN, AT THE HOSPITAL WITH THE WORDS ìGOTTA GO, WEíRE IN THE FINALS OF THE WINNERSí BRACKETî 26. YOU'RE MORE UPSET OVER ONE YOUR PLAYERS JUST UP AND LEAVING THE TEAM THAN YOU ARE BY YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND JUST UP AND LEAVING YOU. 27. YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND HAS LEARNED THAT IN ORDER TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU, SHE MUST PREFACE IT WITH, "HOW'D YOU HIT?" 28. YOU POLISH YOUR BAT 29. YOU HAVE MIKEN (OR YOUR BAT COMPANYíS NAME) & YOUR TEAM LOGO ON YOUR UNDERWEAR. 30. YOU BUY A $300 BAT OVER: REPLACING THE BALLED TIRES ON THE CAR OR SOME DECENT CLOTHES FOR YOU OR YOUR FAMILY. 31. IF YOU BRING YOUR BAT TO BED; YOUR WIFE KNOWS IT IS SLEEP NIGHT & A BIG TOURNEY IS TOMORROW. Do not know who originally wrote this, but it is funny; added a few lines myself. Taterman Pres SSOMV Club JAH Masters 03í/04í Miken/Old South 05í |
