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Online now: 3 members: JPHutch, Rollerpig15, TABLE SETTER 11; 151 anonymousDiscussion: For All the Rained in, snowed in, Waiting on Warmer Weather People
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| Jan. 3, 2011 southpaw Men's 70 1077 posts | For All the Rained in, snowed in, Waiting on Warmer Weather People My Pastor told this one in A.M. worship yesterday, so I guess it is alright! A Minister concluded a graveside service at the local cemetery. As he made his way across the cemetery to his car, he began to hear uncontrollable sobbing and weeping. He made his way across the cemetery; as he drew closer, he saw a man seated on a bench in the midst of some tombstones. Sobbing and weeping, the man continually cried out: "Why did you die? Why did you have to die?!" The minister drew near and offered his assistance, then asked: "Was it your spouse?" He received a negative reply. "Was it another family member or friend?" No and no came the man's response. "Well then, who?!" The man turned to the minister and with great tears in his eyes, he stated: "It was her first husband!" |
| Jan. 4, 2011 Tater50 Men's 60 336 posts | Young Boy goes to see his Great Grandfather out in the country. They go to church, built in the early 1800's; aligned on the walls were many pics of soldiers in uniform ranging from the Spanish American thru the Afghan War. The young boy says: "Paw Paw; what are all these pictures on men on the wall"? Paw Paw said: "these are men who DIED in service." Young Boy: "Paw Paw; did they die in the Sunday morning or the Sunday Night Service"? |
| Jan. 4, 2011 southpaw Men's 70 1077 posts | Good one Tater! A teammate sent this one to me a few weeks back: Grandfather and his very vocal little grandson were shopping at Walmart. As soon as they entered, the little boy started grabbing things off the shelf, making loud noises, causing a commotion (that's southern talk). Young woman behind them heard grandfather say very soothingly, "Now William, call down, we'll be through here soon, take it easy, etc." This occurred over and over throughout the store. Same message, same soothing voice--"Now William, calm down, etc." Finally,in the checkout line, little one acted up once more; same encouraging words from grandpa. Same young woman in line behind them. She tapped grandfather on the shoulder and expressed a commendation to him for being so patient with little William. Grandfather's reply: I'm sorry, but you misunderstand. I'm William! He's Joey! |
| Jan. 4, 2011 Tater50 Men's 60 336 posts | A very large person was standing in line @ Wal-Mart & 2 small kids were right behind; suddenly the larger person's beeper started going off; the boy turned to his sister & hollered: "WATCH OUT SIS, THEY'RE BACKING UP"!!!!!! Tater50 |
| Jan. 5, 2011 cyborg45 Men's 75 194 posts | Two very old softball buddies were discussing if there would be softball teams in heaven. About a week later one of the buddies passed away. Another week or so went by and suddenly the ghost of the friend who had died appeared to to his old buddy. The ghost said "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is they've got great softball teams in heaven. The bad news is you're pitching on Friday". |
| Jan. 5, 2011 Tater50 Men's 60 336 posts | 2 Rednecks hunting & they came upon a large deep hole. Zeb said: Dang that's deep; he hollered hello & 10 seconds later Hello came back. Wish we knew how deep it is? Big Dee said: Let's throw something in. So they looked around & saw a transmission; they both picked it up cause it was real heavy & tossed it in. A few moments later; they heard a loud noise crashing thru the woods; they turned w/their 30.06's & looked & here comes this goat tearing up the brush like he was mad; he came up to the hole & JUMPED in!!! A few moments after a farmer shows up & ask if they had seen his goat. Zeb says: Heck yes!! That fool thing came thru the brush, limbs & briars, stomping, scratching, raising a rukus & came up to the hole; looked in & then jumped!!! Farmer said: That is impossible; I had him tied off to a heavy transmission!!! Tater50 |
| Jan. 5, 2011 cyborg45 Men's 75 194 posts | After 40 days and 40 nights, Moses came down off the mountain and was immediately greeted by several close friends. Upon seeing them he said "the good news is I got it down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still on of them." |
| Jan. 5, 2011 cyborg45 Men's 75 194 posts | That was meant to be "one". |
