CARL'S CORNER - SENIOR SOFTBALL CHEAPSKATES

Dec. 1, 2010 – Carl Gustafson CA Regional Tri-Director (San Diego)

Fourteen of us softball players and wives went out to dinner the other night at a nice restaurant with a harbor view. I had salmon for 21 bucks. Adding a salad cost $9 more and a side of veggies was another $9.

I got part of a fish, some black rice, a sprig of parsley, bread, and a stomach ache.

I’m lucky that I don’t drink, but for those who did, the tab for wine quickly equaled the cost of the meal.

Our bill was over $700, not counting the $100 tip. It occurred to me that for the $800 we spent on one meal the other night, we could pay for an entire season at the nicest softball fields, plus buy team shirts, and have enough left over to pay the insurance and buy a season’s worth of softballs.

No one moaned or bellyached as we all understood the cost of a fine restaurant.

This is why I don’t understand softball cheapskates – and there are a lot of them. When it comes time to pay their league or tournament fees, they look at the manager as though he wore a mask and pointed a gun.

These penny-pinchers must stand in front of a mirror practicing those kicked-in-the-stomach looks because these are not natural human expressions that I see. They emit moans that would make a dying soldier sound like he was humming the Flintstones theme.

The tightwads often won’t buy their own bats and don’t offer to pay anything when they break somebody else’s equipment.

We once took up a collection for one tournament player because according to him he was a step away from standing on a corner with a cardboard sign saying, “Anything Helps! God bless you.”

After the tournament he showed up at a league game with a brand new $30,000.00 pick-up truck.

“Don’t you just love that new car smell?” he asked.