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Online now: 6 members: Beanz, Crazylegs46, QDOG03, Rocky22, john simonson, teampanthers; 14 anonymousDiscussion: The New Artificial Intelligence Cap
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| April 1 Webbie25 Men's 70 2414 posts | Good morning. We have been working on an AI cap now for almost a year. We finally have the bugs worked out. Utilizing only basic wiring from the cap to the skull, this new AI cap can eliminate most Senior Moments. We have had a 75% success rate. The SMI cap-(Senior Moment Inhibitor) will send off small shocks in your head when it senses that you are about to have a senior moment. It can be on a pitch that can be nowhere close to the strike zone that it senses you are about to swing at. It can be that you intend to take a pitch that will be a strike with one strike on you. It can warn you not to hit a ball down the third baseline with men on first and second and no outs. That small shock that is triggered by the SMI cap will alert you in time to save you. It works the same way in the field. An invisible neural net will set up a stasis field (Called and Asimov field) attached invisibly to your body and will alert you when it senses you are about to throw to the wrong base, or if you forget the base runner situation or how many outs there are. And, as a bonus, it can sense when you are going to close your glove too quickly to catch a ball, cutting down on your errors. This is a must have and the need increases with age....I know that from experience. For the low price of $999 you can cut your senior moments and enjoy the game again!!!! Have a great day. |
| April 1 The Wizard 20 posts | Happy April Fools Day. Does the cap come in extra large ? It's also our Daughters Birthday, so we're used to coming up with good pranks. |
| April 1 SSUSA Staff 3493 posts | HELP WANTEDSSUSA seeks well qualified applicants to apply for the newly created and challenging position of National Facilities Coordinator. The successful applicant will meet the following criteria – Civil Engineering Degree, with double Minors in Urban Planning & Political Relations. Extensive Municipal Finance education or high-level related experience is a plus. Must possess exemplary negotiation skills to be utilized in convincing Civic officials in multiple locations of the importance of retro-fitting all existing softball facilities to meet the current, and ever changing, demands of Senior Softball players. Must also possess, and be willing to implement, plans for the cost-free improvements for those affected municipalities, including the requirement that any construction and subsequent maintenance costs not adversely impact the municipal finance budget. Federal Grant Procurement experience, coupled with Urban Land Acquisition expertise, is a plus for development of new Senior Softball facilities in multiple locations. The successful candidate should be able to deliver cost-free state of the art facilities to the various municipalities. Mechanical Engineering background and experience helpful in assisting urban planning and engineering departments on the new "Flex Fencing Concept". All retro-fit improvements to fencing, or new construction, must incorporate ‘on the fly’ variable height and distance adjustments, ranging from 6' to 30' high, and distance options from Home Plate ranging from 275' through 340'. Design must incorporate sufficient ease of operation for umpires and T.D.’s. Electrical Engineering degree and Patent Application experience a plus for the design and immediate development of a non-invasive electrical force field invention to deflect sharply batted balls in the vicinity of the pitcher and/or pitcher's area of the playing field. Architectural degree, with notable Sports Facilities experience, required for full range of free design/build services. Law degree or related high-level experience would also be a plus for the successful candidate, who must be capable of renegotiating, or causing litigation-free cancellation, of numerous multi-year existing facility lease/event contracts with multiple civic entities, all without causing adverse implications to SSUSA. Ideally, these renegotiations should be accomplished on terms always favorable solely to SSUSA and its membership. Masters in Hotel Management is a desired, but not required qualification. Proven experience in reserving and blocking up to 20,000+ 5-star hotel rooms in a single municipality, up to a year in advance, at the lowest possible 1-star hotel room rates, including free breakfast, is a must. Willingness to travel extensively for minimal compensation, combined with the ability to accept endless public criticism from a multitude of sources, none of whom possess the knowledge or experience, individually or collectively, to successfully apply for this position. Apply today at areyoukiddingme@seniorsoftball.com [Originally published 04/01/2009] |
| April 1 Webbie25 Men's 70 2414 posts | Hi Dave. I remember when you sent me that and I still have a copy. I appreciate your help with a bit of humor over the years. We have sure pulled a few good ones. |
| April 1 DaveDowell Men's 70 4322 posts | The "best" was still the time we pranked Big John from the Desperados about their runner-up finish in a AAA tournament resulting in their rating bump to Major+ ... I think the screaming is still echoing around the office here! ... That was a Classic ... |
| April 1 Olden Slow Men's 75 209 posts | Webbie25 You forgot to mention that it only works with the HSFG (High Speed Frequency Grease). Thats where the big expense is. |
| April 1 Webbie25 Men's 70 2414 posts | Olden Slow, I couldn't use that because it clashes with my Brylcreem.With my hair, a 'little dab'll do ya' turned in to half of a tube...... |
| April 1 Jerry820 Men's 60 77 posts | Well I supposed I can now call myself a Millionaire now since I hit 5 out of the six numbers in the Power ball tonight. So now Ill go down to Lottery Office in San Bernardino office tomorrow morning. I'll probably take 1 lump sum i guess. Then I'll get a hold my CPA tax guy from Southern California and that will be Alvin Tate and he also is one of my umpires and then I'll check with my other CPA in Northern California in which it is believe or not but it's Dave Dowell my go to guy with all my other investments.I guess I will not be the new sponsors for Over the Edge 70's Major plus team. Thank You all and have a bless rest of the evening. Swing Suncoast |
