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Online now: 4 members: JohnO28, TABLE SETTER 11, dawg888, teampanthers; 128 anonymousDiscussion: A new product for Senior Softball Players
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| April 1, 2017 Webbie25 Men's 70 2414 posts | A new product for Senior Softball Players Good morning all! You are late in the Championship game. You are playing outfield. The inning starts and as you trot out to your position, that Senior Urge hits. After a couple minutes you begin to fidget a bit. You shift your feet. The pitcher walks 2 batters and the manager comes out to talk to him. Now you are nervous.YOU GOTTA GO!!!!! The next batter gets a hit. The inning drags on. You start moving in circles and hoping nobody notices your discomfort. You get an out. Yeah! The next pitch goes past the catcher and he slowly retrieves it, throws it in the dirt to the mound and it skips by the pitcher. There is nobody on the bench to come into the game for you. This is getting embarrassing. Finally, the third out. You sprint to the bathroom with one thing in mind-making it! As you get there and breath heavily with relief, you suddenly realize with horror that you are the leadoff hitter. You totally forgot. You can't stop and it takes forever. You finally run out zipping up, only to see the umpire, stifling tremendous laughter, call STRIKE THREE. NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE THE ANSWER. We offer double protection! The outer flap has plenty of room for the biggest 'cup' for you softball studs. And these super duper, spongy sliding shorts have the capacity to absorb any potentially embarrassing accident. You can 'DEPEND' on this product to protect you. Let it fly with confidence!!!!!! No one will know unless they understand the small smile on your lips. This is the perfect answer for those of us with SSUSA (Seriously Strong Uncontrollable Sphincter Activities). Avoid those embarrassing moments that could cost your team. Never do the 2GQ (Gotta Go Quickstep) again. Now available in all sizes and many colors for only $59.99, But WAIT! If you order now you get a second pair absolutely free. All you pay is $275.00 shipping and handling! Offer good today only! Mark Weber HR Webco, Inc. |
| April 1, 2017 rlspls1974 Men's 65 119 posts | Before I place my order, let me check the calendar. Yup it's April 1st :) |
| April 1, 2017 k man Men's 65 326 posts | April 1st, Yes but we know this situation has happened to many of us. Sorry for the grossness but I always keep an empty gatorade bottle in my bag just in case of emergencies. I warn my teammates to stay away from the yellow gatorade. lol |
| April 1, 2017 DieselDan Men's 75 602 posts | I stopped reading after "and as you trot out to your position." |
| April 1, 2017 Dbax Men's 65 2101 posts | Mark's been working on this post all year. Couldn't wait for today! |
| April 1, 2017 Webbie25 Men's 70 2414 posts | Mr. Clark, I have processed your order for PINK shorts! Thanks! I hope 14 pair is enough. Diesel Dan, I always trot 2 steps, then walk. Just for looks! |
| April 1, 2017 Omar Khayyam 1357 posts | Webbie, you must be really from the sticks (somewhere like Idaho or New Mexico). This product has been on the market since last August! My team of over 70s, notorious for our limited bladders (we once dropped out of a tournament since the nearest facilities were more than 100 running steps from our dugout), ordered several of this unique product in September. We no longer use it and here is why. First, the cost. $59.99 seemed reasonable for what it could do, but we lost our sponsor, a real standup guy and CEO of U. R. Inal and Sons, when he found out that he was paying for S&H costs of $275.00 for this “equipment”! Second, our right center fielder, Peanuts, found a blessed relief at a crucial time right before the batter hit a shot to his field. Normally, our guy is a reliable fielder with reasonable speed, but what he didn’t realize is that a full cup acts as a weight that begins swinging around your waist. He looked like the Penguin trying to escape from Batman, and needless to say, he didn’t make the catch. He declined to give an excuse to the wives who were watching. Third, the sliding shorts were inadequate to the task as well. Joe Pisscopo, our first baseman, is a notorious beer lover. At the next tournament, he thought there were no more games on Saturday and when we caught up with him on his third beer in the snack bar, to tell him to return for the final game of the day, he was sure glad he had worn this product. But upon availing himself of its protection, he found himself trying to stretch a hit into a double and slid nicely into second. There he found that there is an absorption limit and the other team’s second baseman still won’t talk to him, now six month’s later. I should note that Joe weighs about 290 and most of his weight is in his butt and belly. So, just a warning to other readers in the waning moments of this day, that this remarkable product does have some potential drawbacks. It’s not the whiz you think it is. |
| April 3, 2017 Webbie25 Men's 70 2414 posts | Omar-this calls for a re-butt-al. On a scale of one to 10-'yur-an-eight' in your criticism. Mr. Pisscopo should have taken advantage of the 'nuclear option' and used the handy dandy super heater that evaporates it in 30 seconds. It piss-i-dates, er, I mean, dissipates the overflow. Our product specialist-Mr. MT Bladder has verified it's effectiveness. The cost becomes more reasonable when you realize you can wear these for everyday use. For those of us that drive long distances-no more stops. At the ballgame drinking beer?-use the extra absorbent maxi-(sliding)pads so you don't miss a pitch, or a batter stepping out of the box after every pitch for 45 seconds. It's good for 5 hours to handle almost any 9 inning game. We are working on the weight shift with a micro computer chip that anticipates your next softball move and distributes it evenly, and may even create a soft warm cushion for sliding. Mr. Pea-nuts will then be able to use it also. Our new, and improved product will be out shortly. We don't want any more 'pissed' off customers. |
| April 3, 2017 Dbax Men's 65 2101 posts | Ok, this needs to stop. |
| April 3, 2017 softball4b Men's 70 1248 posts | As most of you are aware Webbie is somewhat prone to hyperbole and microphone hogging. One night at Karaoke the DJ started a list for the next night right after the first song because 3A had signed up to sing the entire play list. We were playing in Hemet and were having a pretty good inning and had probably hit 9 batters or so. 2 runners on and 2 out, we then realized the next hitter was no way to be found. So out declared and inning over. He was not there when we went out on defense so we had to put our lard butt catcher in right field. He(I) did not make any errors and went we back into hit. We just about to get to the spot in the batting order with the disappearing player when we see him strolling in. Needless to say he just picked up his bat and went to hit. His only comment, when you gotta go, you gotta go. For the record it was not Webbie. |
| April 3, 2017 Omar Khayyam 1357 posts | Webbie, hats off to the champ! On a related topic, why do guys say "pissed off" when that usually brings relief, and yet "pissed on" usually results in a fight? |
| April 3, 2017 Webbie25 Men's 70 2414 posts | Softball4b-I have never, and will never sing Karaoke. Last time I sang in the shower the wife threatened me with divorce and the dogs tried to bite me. The Hemet story is true and where I got my idea. Omar-this was fun! I was 'relieved' someone else had fun! Thanks for piss-enting an alternative view. |
| April 4, 2017 RDSinNEOHIO Men's 70 31 posts | Oh boy, and for Nationality sake: If you're rushing to pee, you're Russian. And when you're done, you're Finnish. And during the process, oh yes you know, European. |
